What's discipline got to do with BUTTONS?
While reading a book I came across this phrase, The “attention of discipline”. The author was explaining the situation in which her dog created a mess just to get attention. The attention given would be mixed with discipline because of the dog's bad behavior that caused the dog owner to stop and pay attention to the dog. This situation made me think of the statement “I’ll take it anyway I can get it."
Are you knowingly or unknowingly pushing "BUTTONS", creating conflict to get attention? Are you so “needy”, do you yearn for attention, any kind of attention. When you should be waiting or praying for direction or evaluating “what will my response yield, you forge ahead, impatiently doing your own thing? Have you done this before, I know I have? “Been there, got the t-shirt”, should have known better. Is there something inside you, a "BUTTON" of your own that feels justified in pushing someone else’s "BUTTONS" so that you can get the attention you yearn for? It’s not the attention of love, affection, acceptance or compassion that is at work here. It is the "attention of discipline". Attention that ultimately results in a behavior of discipline. In actuality if discipline was exercised in regard to the need for attention the subsequent discipline could be avoided.
Someone must feel like the parent having to discipline the child and the other is left feeling like that child that must be disciplined. Is that really what you want? Is that the kind of relationship you’re after? Well if not don’t settle for “I’ll take it any way I can get it”. Deal with the need you have on the inside that allows you to accept attention through discipline as a fulfillment of that longing on the inside to be seen, paid attention to, or listened to.
I say that the need at the root of this behavior still isn’t being met just because “you” are being seen or paid attention to in the midst of the conflict. The situation or mess you’ve created is what is getting the attention and you are still left sitting in the corner crying for attention, saying “see me”, listen to me, hug me, I need you.
The fact is this type of behavior doesn’t bring people closer together, it pushes them away from each other. So don’t take it any way you can get it. Don’t settle for the "attention of discipline". Stop before you push that "BUTTON". Give yourself the attention you seek from someone else. It may seem odd, selfish or weird but you won’t be left feeling like a child, and you won’t be allowing someone else to control the "BUTTONS" in your life.
What do you think?
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